If you don’t know him already, RBCP (aka Mr. Carter) is one of the founders of Phone Losers of America and hosts a series of popular podcasts and YouTube channels. For the past few months, I’ve investigated Mr. Carter in deep undercover to unravel the truth behind his mysterious persona. Not a lot is known about Mr. Carter as he is famously reclusive. The only information we are able to get directly from Mr. Carter are snippets of phone interviews from the 90s, the book about himself that he self-published, and the hundreds of hours of audio he has released in any of his podcast streams. Oh, and I also speak to him regularly in the Discord he hosts. Digging through the scraps of information we have, we were able to piece together a rough estimate of his living space based on the annual video tours of his living space he releases publicly. Join me in this series as we dive deep into the mystery of who Mr. Carter really is, and what he’s trying to hide.
This is when a disturbing trend started to materialize. Large gaps in the timeline started to appear. Days… sometimes weeks of absolutely zero information (with the obvious exception of a few tweets and show releases). What is Mr. Carter hiding? We tried interviewing his best friend and business partner Bob Dobalina for his take, but he was frustratingly difficult to get a hold of. The website has absolutely zero contact information and our investigative team had no luck tracking him down. The few people they found with the name Mr. Dobalina sounded nothing like the host of the prank call podcast hosted on Mr. Carter’s website. That’s when a very strange thing happened. We compared a voice sample of Mr. Dobalina, posted here:
…with a known recording of Mr. Carter himself, heard here:
They are almost identical. This is where the rabbit hole gets deep. Is this a coincidence? What are the odds two people that sound very similar both host a show on the same network? We also ran this analysis on others in his circle of friends including Mr. Biggs, King Richard, and Carol Gersberms. Their voice print did not match, so we can rule them out from being involved in this plot. My theory is Mr. Carter and Mr. Dobalina are one and the same. Now the question is “Why all the deception?”. What does Mr. Carter have to gain from pretending to be two different people? Why would he host two different podcasts that effectively compete with each other? As that guy from that one movie once said… follow the money.
So follow the money I did. Let’s start at the obvious methods of income: internet money. The internet has its own economy just like any other country. When you upload content to the internet, you are rewarded with internet currency known as a bitcoin. Each meme, each picture of your family, each angry tweet… all reward you with a single bitcoin. Now, this doesn’t seem like much, but multiply it over many hundreds of shows and you’ll see those bitcoins add up very quickly. Let’s look at the numbers. The Snow Plow Show, Mr. Carter’s main show, currently has 657 episodes at the time of this writing. From those shows, that awarded Mr. Carter with 657 bitcoin. Following me so far? Now, using an online converter to convert bitcoin value to human dollars, they would be worth $6,772,290.30. When I saw that number, things started to make sense. It’s not about the shows. It’s about the money.
So, if producing one show can be that lucrative, why would you stop at one? Mr. Carter seems to be double dipping and producing double the shows for double the bitcoins. The internet wouldn’t allow a single person to have two shows, so that’s when Mr. Dobalina was born. A fictitious person to scam the internet into lining his pockets.
Sam Nash, internet expert and Best Buy greeter, explained it to me this way. “No, no. That’s not how things work on the internet. Bitcoin aren’t just given out like that. They are this whole other thing. You have to, like, set up computers to get them. My cousin did that a few years ago. He had these computers that, I dunno, looked for bitcoin or something? He explained to me how it worked, but I don’t remember.” Confused, I asked him if internet content creators weren’t rewarded with currency, why would people post videos, podcasts, or status updates on the internet. He nervously laughed and said “I don’t know. Some people do it for fun, I guess. A few people can make money with, like ads and stuff… but most people just do it because it’s just something to do.” I asked him if this included independant internet investigative journalists, to which he informed me it did. Unfortunately for me, this article was already almost finished.
In conclusion, Mr. Carter isn’t a bad guy. He’s a good guy. Really doesn’t even matter anymore. Also, I find it frustrating that I put all this effort into writing this thing and I’m not going to see one red cent for it. They really should make that clearer. I had a whole thing planned. A series of articles with interviews and plot twists… but that’s right in the crapper now. Not if I’m going to dump all this time into it and not be paid.
4 thoughts on “RBCP: Wacky Prank Caller or Internet Conman?”
This has to be a satire piece, right?
Why did no one take the time to contact Roy Gerbil? What a hack.
Brad, Roy, and Bob are all fake. They are alter-personas portrayed by Carol Gershberms. This is to keep anyone fro. Investigating her where-abouts and origin.
She has a secret past she’s hiding. She was convicted in 1991 of serial identity thievery, telling kids to shut the fuk up, and numerous cases of sexual misconduct at multiple retirement homes, all of which she took advantage of the elderly men and convinced them to slap their dix on the table til it bled them to death.
She’s currently awaiting trial, but all the witnesses also mysteriously keep having their phone numbers changed so it’s impossible to get ahold of any to testify.